I berjaya khatam quran on the last day of 2022 hip hip hooray - it's been one of my goals earlier this year and i added this into the list to strike off before i perform my umrah. betul lah ek i sejenis manusia last minute dan tau tak apa masalahnya dengan being one? sampai sekarang i tak berjaya keluar dari jadi last minute sebab apparently each time i memang berjaya. lol.
when was the last time i read quran cover to cover? most probably time sekolah dulu. i selalunya suka start over bila rasa macam dah lama tak baca but never really finish. yelah kan dah kalau tiap kali asyik nak start dari awal balik tapi pastu stop halfway bila mananya nak habis but i'm glad i managed to, this year! finally, at the age of 33 - i lebih bertanggungjawab pada diri sendiri haha.
i love that i was taking my own sweet time kali ni. i read whenever i feel like it without feeling forceful. kalau dulu time sekolah baca sebab well, i memang ustaz datang rumah ajar mengaji so i takleh lari. baca sekadar baca. belajar sebab kena belajar. this time around, i took the liberty to read the translation sambil baca quran- walaupun bukan lah faham nau. but it makes me want to do better. like google for answer, tengok random video ceramah and at one point i rasa macam eiii i nak belajar mengaji balik. maybe i should in 2023.
what's your favourite surah in quran? do you have one? i have two yang i suka, i amal and i can vouch for its benefits, sumpah. Al-Insyirah & Al-Waqiah. i punya lah suka surah insyirah dulu siap berazam kalau ada anak perempuan, i kena nama kan dia insyirah - maybe with some other spelling ke macam mana but i still tak jumpa one yang i rasa sesuai. i suka EE dalam nama, just like mine. tapi Insheera macam heh??? but yeah, Al-Insyirah gotta be the first one in the list. dulu time sekolah kita selalu baca doa ni kan untuk jawab exam lah, before start belajar lah pastu kita just recite blindly bukannya i tau sangat pun maksud dia, yang i tau ustaz cakap doa terang hati. :D but yearssssss back time i macam susah hati (y'all know this one, i wrote about it long time ago), i amalkan surah ni and it did wonder to me. lepas dari tu, i memang tak tinggal surah ni in my solat hehehe. i suka tukar-tukar surah, tak suka ulang-ulang but i'll make sure mesti sehari kena ada include surah ni. also, waqiah. try lah amalkan. it might look intimidating sebab apooo sampai 96 ayat panjangnyeeeee tapi tak panjang pun wak sebenarnya sebab ayat dia pendek-pendek and senang baca. tapi i tak hapal lah so this one, i baca lepas solat. just make it a habit to recite it whenever and look how your life transforms before you. ahgitchew. hah apa lagi??? baca lahhh ingat i suka ke kongsi benda yang i tak yakin/tak suka? ini lah sebab kenapa i belum jadi influencer dan kaya raya as social media content creator tau. sebab if i'm not convinced, i cant pretend i love/like things. kemain sempat kau perasan.
and the best thing about khatam quran today is that i am once again reminded how much i love al-insyirah. sikit lagi nak merembes air mata i time sampai this very surah. macam tetiba kak nita choked, babe. cenggini haaa.
sebab eiii lamanya nak sampai surah ni and lamanya i tak bukak baca insyirah in quran?? look mom, i made it. i made it to the end. tiberw.
while we are here, i also nak pen this one down - like how i felt a little offended with something my friend casually said to me (i shouldn't, but if this still lingers on my mind means i can't help it???). earlier this year she and i were talking about ngaji and all lepas tu i pun macam sepintas lalu cakap lah "oh i'm starting again, hopefully i berjaya khatam this year" pastu muka dia terkejut gila penuh amazed tanya i "eh fasha, kau reti mengaji??? kau tau baca quran???" i tau dia bukan lah bertanya nak merendah-rendahkan i, lebih kepada macam 'wow this is something i never got to know of you' of course, kenapa orang rasa dia paham bebenor and tau bebenor pasal i??? haha. did my easygoing personality and my series of instagram stories fool you? don't. i seem like i overshare things on social media and am being transparent with people on daily basis, i sebenarnya tak. there's just so much i hold back too. hehe. but then i takde lah salah kan my friend. that's how i carry myself, maybe. mana lah i boleh control how people perceive me kan. tapi good thing about this - i feel like i should represent my belief better! i know it's cool to look open minded liberal woke whatever you call it these days. i think most of the times, i pretty much am. but i want people to know jugak yang there are certain things in life i'm being rigid with and i'm not sorry.
Anyway to clear things out - i kenal lah alif ba ta babe. my parents named me FSH which literally translates to the eloquent - yang fasih. the least i could do is live up to it?
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