Evil on the pocket but..

 

ngawwww sooo cute so worth the purchase!

probably the most expensive makeup i ever bought, priced at a whopping RM485 (no discount sebab Black Friday dah lepas and i can't count on 12.12 sale y'all know hourglass palette always sells out!)

the devil in question:

yihhhh not a fan of her name and outer look but man oh man look at her bare opened, all cute calling my name Maria, beautiful Maria of my soul~ tiberw teringat Mawi AF3 kan bila nyanyi lagu ni.

i've always wanted one since last year's holiday collection tapi susah nokharom nak dapat kat sephora malaysia. this time i was in luck yeay! was just browsing through sephora apps sebelum tidur sebab well, scrolling before bedtime itu kan therapeutic? what i didn't know was coming adalah.. pembelian dalam masa 5 minit yang mendebarkan dan pabila melihat bank account sejurus selepas pembelian berhasil. evil eye, indeed. 

justifikasi pembelian (walaupun tiada siapa yang kisah mahupun tanya..)

1) one palette ada 6 shades yang terdiri daripada 1 bronzer, 3 blushes, 1 highlighter dan 1 finishing powder. do you know how much each hourglass blush costs? RM249 per shade. i saved like at least 2,624 bucks! #girlmath

2) have always wanted an all-in palette where i can bring 1 for travel and just 1? you're the answer to my prayer, baby.

3) i didn't buy new makeup this year, except replenishing the emptied ones. kot. hihihi.

i ada lagi 3 in wishlist, i pernah ada 2 of them tapi both dah abis years ago and i don't know why i never repurchase padahal i suka gila. oh i remember i cuba menjalani hidup dengan berhemah as in i can only buy new makeup IF the current ones are emptied out and for different purposes (1 eyeliner 1 eyeshadow palette 1 red lipstick 1 nude lipstick and the list goes on lah eh). dan kalau i beli any makeup on a whim and didn't like it, i still kena habiskan before buying a new one.

my 3 makeup wishlist (no rush, cuma beli bila ada sale ataupun duit lebih..)       

a) Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer in shade Custard (and Ginger, kalau ada duit lebih)

b) Nars Audacious Lipstick in shade Anita (walaupun di ruangan ini nama i Maria..)

c) Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder (ini tak pernah try, but i heard rave reviews about it so kena lah try ye dak? i cuma ada 1 loose powder je now, yang Laura Mercier tu. ada 1 pressed powder Dior tapi dah tak pakai lah babe sebab i beli in 2018 kot? tak habis hingga kini. so if i were to buy this CT setting powder, i akan beli travel size je)

btw dulu i selalu ada mindset alang-alang. contoh bila i beli sesuatu i mesti akan beli full size or upsize sebab well, alang-alang. but now since i dah wise sikit especially when it comes to makeup, i akan beli travel/mini size je most time. because full size makeup takes years to finish and there's always new products in the market? bila i nak try yang lain kalau gitu?

Closure

 

if you were to leave someone be it a romantic relationship or a bad friendship - would you opt to give closure to that very person or would you rather not?

would you prefer to let them know the reason you leave or just ghost them and disappear into thin air?

i personally think i'm the latter.

when people did me dirty, i wouldn't want anything to do with them anymore or at all and that includes giving closure. bad people don't deserve one, ever. not that they need it or want it in the first place lah kan. but to me best revenge is just leaving quietly. not a word uttered, no crying pukul dada sehingga jatuh melutut, no long ass text demanding explanation for what they've done to you. 

just simply leave and cut connections. remove and soft block them from friends/followers list. block their number. that's real satisfaction to me. but that only applies bila you betul-betul memang dah tak nak anything to do with that individual lah kay. kau jangan lah pergi block dia lepas tu stalk guna account kawan kau. tu lam-wau-dzal-rho namanya.

also, i'm mean in a sense that you all know my personality - i'm pretty much a yapper and when things go south people would naturally expect me to blow up, but here's a trick, i'll remain as calm as spring rain and will just go pin drop silence. scared the hell out of people sebab sejak bila Maria bisu??? what did i do wrong??? is Maria okay with you??? is she replying to your text??? kenapa Maria tak reply message aku??? maka hidup lah kau dalam keadaan tertanya-tanya sampai bila-bila. if you're lucky you'll find out from my close circle but often times, i suka pendam je sorang-sorang. 

(masih tak move on feeling nama pena Maria, ya...)

Again and Again

 

i always come back for you, didn't i?

sometimes it took days, other times it took months and this time around it took me a year, but i would certainly come back no matter how long.

i love it here. and i need to remind myself of my love for writing (and reading..) by visiting this space every now and then. 

kalau nak cerita funny-funny takde dah kat sini babe. as i age, i am more bitter than i am funny. so sad but true for me there's only you~ tiberw M2M.

i kena menulis balik lah sebab i rasa sekarang i dah tak boleh menulis??? kalau i tidak teruskan latih tubi ini mungkin nanti kemahiran ini akan hilang begitu sahaja? i tiada anak untuk diturunkan kepakaran i ini. kepakaran ya. sangat meminta cemuhan. by the way i dulu nak sangat anak nama Soraya. siapa bapaknya tidak penting tapi anak i harus nama Soraya. tak kisah lah bila digabungkan dia akan kedengaran aneh contohnya Soraya Binti Jeon Jungkook. kini i tiada nama impian untuk anak dah kerana tahun depan tamat lah prime age i (tapi tidak lah tahun depan i menopaus boleh tak jangan tuduh yang bukan-bukan?!) cuma tahun depan kalau tetiba i kahwin dan beranak mungkin sekali keluar terus Soraya dan Alayna. lahhhh kenapa terus dua pulak kan. kerana menjelang range umur 36-40 tahun, the chances untuk you pregnant with twins are higher. cuma perlu dan suka untuk i ingatkan semula semua orang yang bahawasanya.... tahun depan umur i 22 tahun.

tu je lah nak bebel bagi memecahkan suasana sepi setahun tidak ke udara.

till we meet again.

With love and tender care,

Maria

(kenapa Maria? saje lah nama pena i supaya i tidak dikenali oleh bakal majikan baru....)